Here I am once again, I have this sick feeling in my stomach. I have a feeling its gonna be around for awhile this time. My parents brought me to breakfast, For what? To drop a bomb on me in public so I can’t make a scene. I’m moving. This time it’s less than three months away. My parents are just acting like it’s not a big deal, just another casual breakfast. It’s not a normal breakfast, my life in Hawaii swirls around my head. Normally, I would be used to this, even expecting it. But I have been here for six years. It’s longer than I have been anywhere, Leaving just seems so foreign. I get nervous. I just started to get really comfortable. What am I suppose to do now? Start all over? That makes my stomach churn.The thing is, I don’t know how to stop it.
Telling my best friend was the worst thing I have done. I cried and she cried. I am usually insensitive to these things. But with Taylor, it seems like the typical sad ending to a movie we both knew that needed to end. My best friend, of six years is about to be 4,644 miles away from each other. Without her, I am just, I am going to be so lost. She is irreplaceable, my other half. I can’t just move on. As all these thoughts run through my head I get dizzy. Realizing these things don’t come so naturally anymore. Now I remember, There are other to inform.
It’s later that night and now I am in bed. Being alone allows my mind to roam freely. I get this funny feeling. My nose starts tickling and my eyes start watering. I know where this is headed, it seems like all I do lately. I started balling, my eyes get red and Irritated. I am loosing my breath. I call for my dad. Embracing in the tightest hug, burying my face in his chest. This is my attempt to calm myself down but for some reason all I can do is cry more. My dad tries to makes me laugh in attempt to stop the crying. It doesn't work. Out of weary he calls for my mom. I am in a full fled panic attack. My heart is racing, My body begins to tremble and I am gasping for air. But then, it stops.
Over the days I slowly begin to realize all the possibilities here. I’m getting a new house, new neighborhood and a new school. It cant be that bad, Right? I’m a media kid, I have social media to stay connected. I have summer to mac flight back and see my friends. There are to many great things that will be opportune to change about my personality and appearance. Nobody knows my back story, the mistakes I've made. I have a fresh start waiting for me and it’s waiting for me.
Although I used to be accustomed to this, it seems like a new ordeal. Moving is now scary. It wasn't like this before. I am gaining yet another experience. This is when I realize I have experienced more than most teenagers. Being a part of this environment with all the hello’s and goodbyes is not ideal but it makes us appreciate what we have. Being in a military family has impacted every aspect of my life. All of these things remind me that I am coming of age.
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