Glow Stick
I am glow stick.
So shiny and bright.
To see my light on that dark summer's night,
you must break me.
Once you break me I can not be fixed
never back to the way I was before.
Once you crack the unique seal inside of me,
color radiates from me leading the way.
As my light fades away the path becomes a blur.
It's to late now to find your way back.
Stuck in the dark there is no looking back.
You know you need me
but my light has ran out
this time its not coming back
I can no longer be saved
my time has ticked away
and now my color had fully faded away
Still has a lot of work to be done and lines needed to be added. I am using this as my rough bcuz I am drawing a blank. But I promise my final will have a lot more lines and be much better. ^.^
The metaphor you chose is a good one to show your personality. Your rhyming can be a little off, as in you rhyme at the wrong pattern. Just some minor mistakes, but overall, a great poem.
ReplyDeleteThe metaphor is great, you just need to be a little unique and add some catchy words or lines. But overall it was a good poem. P.S: *too
ReplyDeleteTHE POEM SEEMS TO BE CONTRADICTING. YOU SAY YOU ARE BROKEN AND YOU NEED TO BREAK TO SHINE THE LIGHT. BUT BREAKING YOU SOUNDS NEGATIVE BUT BEING A LIGHT IS POSITIVE. YOU NEED TO FIX THAT SO THAT IT ISN'T TWO DIFFERENT IDEAS GOING AGAINST EACH OTHER. ALSO GIVE US REASON AS TO WHY YOU ARE THESE THINGS. AS(2-)
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